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Statement of belief: “Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word
is truth.” (John 17:17 KJV)
Created 5929± 12 10 2025
[2009-03-08]
Last edited 5929± 04 06 2025 [2009-06-29]
False
Sympathy
An excerpt from
the Pen of Ellen G. White re the enormous consequences following upon sympathy
shown to someone who is walking down the wrong path.
- Unfortunately such false
sympathy is typically provided under a conviction of acting under the spirit of
Christ and with brotherly or sisterly love, while in fact such false sympathy
is an act in direct opposition to the cleansing work of the Holy Spirit.
“The Lord would teach His people to
acknowledge the justice of His corrections, that others may fear. There were
those in
{PP [Patriarchs and Prophets p.] 361.2 (1892)}
More from the same source
re the same subject…
I saw that many souls have been destroyed
by their brethren unwisely sympathizing with them, when their only hope was to
be left to see and realize the full extent of their wrongs. But as they eagerly
accept the sympathy of unwise brethren, they receive the idea that they are
abused; and if they attempt to retrace their steps, they make halfhearted work.
They divide the matter to suit their natural feelings, lay blame upon the
reprover, and so patch up the matter. It is not probed to the bottom, and is not
healed, and they again fall into the same wrong, because they were not left to
feel the extent of their wrong, and humble themselves before God, and let Him
build them up. False sympathizers have worked in direct opposition to the mind
of Christ and ministering angels. {1T
213.1}
Ministers of Christ should arise and
engage in the work of God with all their energies. God's servants are not
excused if they shun pointed testimony. They should reprove and rebuke wrong,
and not suffer sin upon a brother. I must here introduce a portion of a letter
addressed to Brother C: {1T 213.2}
"I was shown some things in regard to
you. I saw that the living, pointed testimony had been crushed in the church.
You have not been in harmony with the straight testimony. You have shunned to
lay your hand decidedly upon wrong, and you have been tried with those who felt
compelled to do so. Disaffected ones have had your sympathy. This has had a
tendency to make you a weak man. You have not been in union with pointed, cutting
testimony which has been sent home to the individual. {1T 214.1}
"God's servants are not excused if
they shun pointed testimony. They must reprove and rebuke wrong, and not suffer
sin upon a brother. You have often stretched out your hands to shield persons
from the censure which they deserved, and the correction which the Lord
designed they should have. If these persons fail to reform, their lack is set
to your account. Instead of watching for their danger, and warning them of it,
you have cast your influence against those who have followed the convictions of
duty, and reproved and warned the erring.
{1T 214.2}
"These are perilous times for the
church of God, and the greatest danger now is that of self-deception.
Individuals professing to believe the truth are blind to their own danger and
wrongs. They reach the standard of piety which has been set up by their friends
and themselves, they are fellowshiped by their brethren, and are satisfied,
while they entirely fail to reach the gospel standard set up by our divine
Lord. If they regard iniquity in their hearts, the Lord will not hear them. But
with many it is not only regarded in the heart, but openly carried out in the
life; yet in many cases the wrongdoers receive no rebuke. {1T 214.3}
"I was pointed back to -----. Your
feelings were wrong there. You should have stood side by side with Elder D and
made straight work, taken hold of and reproved individual wrongs. The burden
you cast upon Elder D you deserved yourself, for your lack of moral courage to
lay your hand upon wrong. You influenced others. The good work which God
designed should be accomplished for certain ones was not accomplished, and they
have been puffed up by Satan. If you had stood in the counsel of God at that
time, an influence would have been cast which would have told upon the cause of
God. The Spirit of the Lord was grieved. And this lack of union discourages
those upon whom God lays the burden of reproof.
{1T 214.4}
"I was shown that you had been wrong
in sympathizing with E. The course you have taken in regard to him has injured
your influence, and has greatly injured the cause of God. It is impossible for
E to be fellowshiped by the church of God. He has placed himself where he
cannot be helped by the church, where he can have no communion with nor voice
in the church. He has placed himself there in the face of light and truth. He
has stubbornly chosen his own course, and refused to listen to reproof. He has
followed the inclinations of his corrupt heart, has violated the holy law of
God, and has disgraced the cause of present truth. If he repents ever so
heartily, the church must let his case alone. If he goes to heaven, it must be
alone, without the fellowship of the church. A standing rebuke from God and the
church must ever rest upon him, that the standard of morality be not lowered to
the very dust. The Lord is displeased with your course in these things. {1T 215.1}
"You have injured the cause of God;
your willful course has wounded the hearts of God's people. Your influence
encourages a slack state of things in the church. You should bear a living,
pointed testimony. Stand out of the way of the work of God, step not in between
God and His people. You have too long wrapped up the sharp testimony, and stood
opposed to the severe censure which God lays upon individual wrongs. God is
correcting, and proving, and purifying His people. Stand out of the way that
His work be not hindered. He will not accept a smooth testimony. Ministers must
cry aloud, and spare not. The Lord has given you a powerful testimony,
calculated to strengthen the church and arouse unbelievers. But these things
wherein you lack must be corrected, or your testimony will become powerless,
and your influence injure the cause of God. The people look to you for an
example. Do not mislead them. Let your influence be to correct wrongs in your
family and in the church." {1T
215.2}
I have been shown that the Lord is
reviving the living, pointed testimony, which will develop character and purify
the church. But while we are commanded to separate from the world, it is not necessary
that we become coarse and rough, and descend to common expressions, and make
our remarks as rude as possible. The truth is designed to elevate the receiver,
to refine his taste and sanctify his judgment. There should be a continual
effort to imitate the society we expect soon to join; namely, angels of God who
have never fallen by sin. The character should be holy, the manners comely, the
words without guile, and thus should we follow on step by step until we are
fitted for translation. {1T
216.1}
Chap.
40 - Duty to Children
I have been shown that parents generally
have not taken a proper course with their children. They have not restrained them
as they should, but have left them to indulge in pride, and follow their own
inclinations. Anciently, parental authority was regarded; children were then in
subjection to their parents, and feared and reverenced them; but in these last
days the order is reversed. Some parents are in subjection to their children.
They fear to cross the will of their children, and therefore yield to them. But
just as long as children are under the roof of the parents, dependent upon
them, they should be subject to their control. Parents should move with
decision, requiring that their views of right be followed out. {1T 216.2}
Eli might have restrained his wicked sons,
but he feared their displeasure. He suffered them to go on in their rebellion,
until they became a curse to Israel. Parents are required to restrain their
children. The salvation of children depends very much upon the course pursued
by the parents. In their mistaken love and fondness for their children, many
parents indulge them to their hurt, nourish their pride, and put upon them
trimmings and ornaments which make them vain, and lead them to think that dress
makes the lady or gentleman. But a short acquaintance convinces those with whom
they associate that an outside appearance is not sufficient to hide the
deformity of a heart void of the Christian graces, but filled with self-love,
haughtiness, and uncontrolled passions. Those who love meekness, humility, and
virtue, should shun such society, even if it be Sabbathkeepers' children. Their
company is poisonous; their influence leads to death. Parents realize not the
destructive influence of the seed which they are sowing. It will spring up and
bear fruit which will make their children despise parental authority. {1T 217.1}
Even after they are of age, children are
required to respect their parents, and to look after their comfort. They should
listen to the counsel of godly parents, and not feel that because a few more
years are added to their life, they have grown out of their duty to them. There
is a commandment with promise to those who honor their father and their mother.
In these last days children are so noted for their disobedience and disrespect
that God has especially noticed it, and it constitutes a sign that the end is
near. It shows that Satan has almost complete control of the minds of the
young. By many, age is no more respected. It is considered too old-fashioned to
respect the aged; it dates back as far as the days of Abraham. Says God:
"I know him, that he will command his children and his household after
him." {1T 217.2}
Anciently, children were not permitted to
marry without the consent of their parents. Parents chose for their children.
It was considered a crime for children to contract marriage upon their own
responsibility. The matter was first laid before the parents, and they were to
consider whether the person to be brought into a close relation to them was
worthy, and whether the parties could provide for a family. It was considered
by them of the greatest importance that they, the worshipers of the true God,
should not intermarry with an idolatrous people, lest their families be led
away from God. Even after children were married, they were under the most
solemn obligation to their parents. Their judgment was not then considered
sufficient without the counsel of the parents, and they were required to
respect and obey their wishes unless these should conflict with the
requirements of God. {1T 218.1}
Again I was directed to the condition of
the young in these last days. Children are not controlled. Parents, you should
commence your first lesson of discipline when your children are babes in your
arms. Teach them to yield their will to yours. This can be done by bearing an
even hand, and manifesting firmness. Parents should
have perfect control over their own spirits, and with
mildness and yet firmness bend the will of the child until it shall expect
nothing else but to yield to their wishes.
{1T 218.2}
Parents do not commence in season. The
first manifestation of temper is not subdued, and the children grow stubborn,
which increases with their growth and strengthens with their strength. Some
children, as they grow older, think it a matter of course that they must have
their own way, and that their parents must submit to their wishes. They expect
their parents to wait upon them. They are impatient of restraint, and when old
enough to be a help to their parents,
they do not bear the
burdens they should. They have been released from responsibilities, and grow up
worthless at home and worthless abroad. They have no power or endurance. The
parents have borne the burden, and have suffered them to grow up in idleness,
without habits of order, industry, or economy. They have not been taught habits
of self-denial, but have been petted and indulged, their appetites gratified,
and they come up with enfeebled health. Their manners and deportment are not
agreeable. They are unhappy themselves, and make those around them unhappy. And
while the children are but children still, while they need to be disciplined,
they are allowed to go out in company and mingle with the society of the young,
and one has a corrupting influence over another. {1T 218.3}
The curse of God will surely rest upon
unfaithful parents. Not only are they planting thorns which will wound them
here, but they must meet their own unfaithfulness when the judgment shall sit.
Many children will rise up in judgment and condemn their parents for not
restraining them, and charge upon them their destruction. The false sympathy
and blind love of parents causes them to excuse the faults of their children
and pass them by without correction, and their children are lost in
consequence, and the blood of their souls will rest upon the unfaithful
parents. {1T 219.1}
Children who are thus brought up
undisciplined, have everything to learn when they profess to be Christ's
followers. Their whole religious experience is affected by their bringing up in
childhood. The same self-will often appears; there is the same lack of self-denial,
the same impatience under reproof, the same love of self and unwillingness to
seek counsel of others, or to be influenced by others' judgment, the same
indolence, shunning of burdens, lack of bearing responsibilities. All this is
seen in their relation to the church. It is possible for such to overcome; but
how hard the battle! how severe the conflict! How hard to pass through the
course of thorough discipline which is necessary for them to reach the
elevation of Christian character! Yet if they overcome at last, they will be
permitted to see, before they are translated, how near the precipice of eternal
destruction they came, because of the lack of right training in youth, the
failure to learn submission in childhood.
{1T 219.2}
Consider the Foundation
of these Things
Do I have control over my own
feelings?
What’s possible? To control the feelings and experiences of another, or to control self? Consider these passages:
Malachi 1:6 KJV A son honoureth his father, and a servant his
master: if then I be
a father, where is mine honour? and if I be a master, where is my fear? saith the LORD
of hosts unto you, O priests, that despiseH959 my name. And ye say, Wherein have we despisedH959 thy name?
Malachi 1:7 KJV Ye offer
polluted bread upon mine altar; and ye say, Wherein have we polluted thee? In
that ye say, The table of the LORD is contemptible. H959
Proverbs 1:7 KJV
The fear of the LORD is
the beginning of knowledge: but
fools despiseH936 wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 1:8 KJV
My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy
mother:
Strong’s H959
בּזה
bâzâh
baw-zaw'
A primitive root; to disesteem:
Strong’s H936
בּוּז
bûz
booz
A primitive root; to disrespect
Isaiah 14:12 KJV How art thou
fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the
ground, which didst weaken the nations!
Isaiah 14:13 KJV For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into
heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the
mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:
Isaiah 14:14 KJV I will ascend above
the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.
Deuteronomy
5:21 KJV Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbour's wife, neither
shalt thou covet thy neighbour's house,
his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ass, or any thing that is thy neighbour's.
Genesis 3:16
KJV Unto the woman he said, I
will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring
forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
Is there an object lesson for each of us provided for us by our Creator in that They placed each our head over and above each our heart?
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